Tuesday, August 2, 2011

'Da Computer

We have been in the process of getting a new home computer our first desktop computer for like forever. We have been talking about it for at least a year.

We picked out a house that would have a place to put one where we could keep an eye on the kids without being all in the middle of their business. We moved into that house. Now we have renovated to make the super nifty computer space of our dreams. (Not really our dreams, but its pretty cool.) We picked out and brought home the awesome new computer.

Last weekend we even got it set up. Phat arm for the monitor to go flat against the wall, long cords to neatly tuck all the cords and tower away. Equally fun and functional wireless keyboard and mouse. Then (y'all know not everything can go according to plan) the keyboard tray didnt' fit. We saved ourselves the driving around town craziness by buying one from Amazon. (Still in the mail.)

Then we tried to set up the parental settings. Has anyone else done this? It really shouldn't be rocket science. - But - it is.

Clearly I need some sort of advanced degree to keep Big Girl from the world of nasty online people.

Here is how it went.

8:10 kids in bed, create user id's, set passwords
8:20 pick out wallpaper, screen saver and other personalized features for Big Girl
8:25 pick out wallpaper, screen saver and other personalized features Husband and I
8:30 start using the "user friendly" Microsoft parental settings

After about an hour of checking off little boxes (What is the difference in mild, moderate and all illegal drug references? someone please tell me) of things we don't want our kids to find online I hit save. Seriously. It took way to long.

I say to Husband, "its all set."

He says great and cracks Big Girls' password.

We set her web browser to go straight to her favorite sites:
- PBS Kids Go          http://pbskids.org/go/
- Disney Junior           http://disney.go.com/disneyjunior/

Then Husband decides to check the parental control settings. He types "porn" in the Bing search bar at the top of the screen. Then, right before our eyes all kinds of content - that I thought I had just blocked - pops up. Some of the female parts bounced up, if you know what I mean, but it is all there.

What is a mom to do?

I went back into the parental settings only to discover that I had only made my way through the programs to allow and gaming settings. Internet Explorer is another whole set of settings.

Seriously.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to laugh. I wanted to delete the search memory so Big Girl didn't end up going back to the porn search before I could block it. It was 10:30 p.m., so instead I went to bed.

This is exactly why (okay, just one of the reasons why) we haven't gotten a home computer yet. It is more stuff for parents to do. Ugh.

P.S. If you know any shortcuts to setting up parental controls PLEASE email me!

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