Friday, April 12, 2013

Darndest Thing

I grew up with the Cosby show. After it went off the air there were the re-runs. Then. Finally in the 90's Bill Cosby came back to TV with Kids Say the Darndest Things. 

The clips are all over YouTube. Hil-freakin-larious.

My kid could be on there. I know. Every mom says it. But mine. He would be a star.

Any time he doesn't know what to say he sings Hot Potato.

He is forever talking about his utensils. Recently he started singing about them. Sometimes to the tune of Wheels on the Bus. All fine and good.

Except he says fork, the "o" comes out with more of an "uh." And the "r" isn't said at all. So, the annunciation ends up rhyming with duck. Only with an F. (If you missed it, the full make you pee your pants funny post about forks is here.)

And he is singing about the fork and the crock pot. Crockpot that comes out as a combination of two words. Crock without the "r" and pot which comes out potty. 

Read it again. 

Fork the crockpot. 

And me and hubby. We have mastered the faces that Bill Cosby has at the beginning of his segments with the little kids. Straight face. Don't make eye contact. If you make eye contact, you'll pick up on their joy. Then you will smile. Then, because what he says is really funny, you will laugh. Then he will say it again. Again will be in public. In public you will get funny looks. If you get funny looks he will say it louder. When he says it louder, he will get even more attention. Then, instead of being funny, you will be embarrassed. You will turn red in the face. Big Girl will ask why you are all red. You won't have a good explanation. So she will ask someone else what was so funny and in doing so will repeat the phrase. When she repeats the phrase she won't be seen as cute. She will ask what it means. I don't want her to understand what it means. 

Be like Bill Cosby. Keep a straight face. Won't be embarrassed. Won't have to explain "fork the crockpot."

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